Green Coffee Bean Extract

2 scoops chocolate protein powder
1/2 bamboo spoon of green coffee bean extract
a good amount of raw oatmeal
maybe a little more
raw hemp seed
chia (not chea) seeds
almond milk


pour into favorite glass jar
whisper I love you into jar

whoops. forgot to add more water to fill up jar.
and I forgot the banana

blend water and banana
add to jar. repeat

stir with stainless steel straw
whisper I love you into jar
may be through straw



Nina Simone

Ne me quitte pas
is not the same as if you go away

Moving slowly
I take care of my needs
Nausea building
head spins
my rocks piled on the window sill
they will move with me
brings tears to my eyes
not ready to release
but that is not for me
to decide

July Tree
I missed you completely
along with August, September, October
and years before

Yes Nina
it is a new dawn and a new day
a new life for me
and I’m feeling good
fish, river, blossoms
dragonfly, butterflies, sleep
Yes Nina
the old world is a new world
freedom is mine
this IS mine

Yes Nina
it is a new life for me
and I’m feeling good

and scared
and excited
and sad
and empty and full
and trusting
and calm
and grounded
and occasionally manic
and it’s all good

So I replay your song
Yes Dragonfly you know
Yes Butterfly you do know
Yes Nina I know what you mean



Chaos leads to Calm

I’m moving.
It wasn’t my choice.
Here I am nonetheless.
Surrounded by chaos.
and yet I feel calm.

My home was sold. Despite resisting, refusing to allow the realtor to show the home due to recuperating on the couch from what for now is just being referred to as “THE accident”, it was sold in a day. Not to me. I thought that was what I wanted. It ends up it wasn’t what was in store for me though.

Now I’m moving. The date is marked in the calendar. Less than 60 days from now. I knew the day was coming, I just didn’t know exactly when. Kind of like death. We know it’s coming, we just don’t know when. Sometimes we are told it’s 6 months from now, sometimes 6 weeks, 6 days, 6…and *BAM!* it’s over. We never know. We just THINK we know. What I think I know is that in about 6 weeks I’ll be leaving my home of the past five years. I thought it was one of the worst things that could happen to me and my daughters. Now I know differently.